Monday, May 14, 2012

Brain Surgery Live Tweet

Okay, I think this is pretty darn cool. A surgeon in Texas tweeted live during brain surgery.

http://storify.com/memorialhermann/brain-surgery-live-on-twitter

The first page is just prep for surgery so nothing gory, but beware the second page if you're eating lunch or otherwise squeamish. And there are videos as well as pictures. Videos with sound so you can hear the drills. Glad I was knocked out for that part.

But it's still cool to see because I went through basically the same procedure.

Friday, May 11, 2012

no scarf!

I went without a scarf today to work - my first full day sans scarf. It's pretty darn exciting.

Yeah, I kinda suck at figuring out a smile for self-portraits. I don't really smirk like this in real life. At least I hope I don't. But I almost always do it in my self-portraits.

I desperately need to get my hair cut and have an appointment for tomorrow, but I just couldn't face another day with something on my head. So even with all its puffy-Prince Valiantness, I did it.

Here's my goofy self-portrait smile. I think I look like a chipmunk, which is why I do the smirk. It may be weird, but it's not as chipmunky. My normal smile is not chipmunky.

I did pull the left side back with a barrette, which helps with the puffiness. And I sprayed the heck out of my hair so my comb-over won't un-over.

But you have to really be looking straight down at my head to notice something odd. And even then, you'd just think I had kinda sparse hair. Or maybe that your eyes were playing tricks on you. Exactly what I was hoping for.


I don't know how boys run around with baseball caps on 24/7. My head would always get itchy by the end of the day and I would dread having after-work plans where I had to keep the scarf on. And a hat? Ugh. I had a beret-type hat that was fine in the winter, but then I got a fedora for spring and it was just sweat-city.

So, yeah, this is pretty kickass. No scarf, sunny day, non-itchy head. I'm a happy girl.

Thursday, May 3, 2012

May is Brain Tumor Awareness Month

Did you know this? I kinda did from going to various websites and research and boards and such, but overall it's such a non-event. There is a race this Sunday in DC and I've seen it advertised on TV, but I'm not participating and have no desire to do so. I'm perfectly happy to fast forward through that commercial.

Part of it is that I don't want my tumor (or lack of tumor!) to define me. My mom was frustrated that I didn't want to celebrate having had the tumor removed once I was back up to speed. But I was back up to speed, I didn't want to be reminded of when I was stuck on the couch. I probably won't want to celebrate my 1 year anniversary either. Celebrating a successful surgery is also a reminder of having needed to have the surgery in the first place. Too much bad mixed up with my good.

But then I feel guilty for not being more involved in brain tumor awareness. Here I was, a young, healthy person who randomly found a tumor in her brain. And since no one knows how meningiomas come about, even the tumor was random. If I got one, anyone could. And if more people knew that meningiomas exist and more doctors knew to look for them, then more people would have successful outcomes. I was very lucky, others aren't. I should help those who aren't. Right? I know this, I do this for my job for so many other issues but I just can't drum up the desire to do it for the issue that actually affects me. And it's not just the brain tumor. There are other causes out there that personally affect me that I have a hard time publicly supporting - so much so that I'm not going to list them here. If I can do it as a "let's band together and support this concept in general" sort of way, then I'm on board. If I have to call myself out as someone affected, I'm completely mute. I also have a hard time talking about difficult subjects without crying and I hate crying.

That's just it. I don't like looking weak. I don't like drawing attention to my flaws, no matter how unresponsible I am for them. Especially if they're ones that can't be fixed. Even though my tumor was successfully, completely removed, there will always be the chance that it'll grow back. That chance will always be higher than someone who never had a tumor.

And that's also why I'm frustrated with my slow hair growth and why I'm quick to tell people that I'm back to 100% even though my leg does still bother me. When I list the ingredients of what makes the perfect Debbie cake, I just don't want meningioma to be on that list. Sucks.